What to buy a friend who's going through a hard time (when flowers just don't feel right)

You know the feeling (I know the feeling!). Someone you love is going through something: a diagnosis, a redundancy, a loss, a relationship ending, a year that's just been 'a lot'. And you want to do something, send them something. Flowers or a plant needs care - putting in a vase, keeping alive. Flowers require work. You want to give them something that says "I see you, and I'm not going anywhere," and actually lasts. 

I've actually been in this position - when we miscarried our middle child I was overwhelmed with flowers. I called them my 'sorry your baby died' flowers. I stuffed them into one vase because I couldn't have two vases of 'sorry your baby died' flowers on our dining room table. My mother-in-law bought me a plant, and call me rude but I gave it back. I didn't have the mental capacity to keep a plant alive.

So, here's my honest answer, from someone who creates beautiful jewellery for exactly this reason.

Why jewellery is a great gift in this situation

A gift for someone in a hard season doesn't need to fix anything - it can't, we're not trying to cheer them up. What it can do is sit quietly with them, the metal warming with their body heat. A piece of jewellery gets touched, turned, glanced at in a mirror, on a bad day and a better one. It becomes a small, physical reminder that someone is thinking of them, long after the moment you gave it has passed.

What actually helps (and what to avoid)

We want to encourage them to make space for their feelings. We want to acknowledge their strength without telling them to 'be strong' or 'you've got this'. We want pieces that affirm that their feelings are normal and to take their time finding the new 'them'. We're avoiding 'cheer up' or 'get better soon'.

A few starting points:

• A piece that represents courage or resilience over perfection. Our phoenix collection was designed exactly for this reason. The idea of being reshaped rather than erased by our experiences and becoming a new version of yourself.
• Something with their initial or birthstone - a piece that celebrates them and feels personal. A little reminder of how fabulous you think they are.
• A piece they can wear everyday. For this particular kind of gift, we want something they can pop on and forget about. Something that will go through the wash of daily life with them, on the school run, in the supermarket, something they will wear to work.
  
  

Not sure what to choose?

I absolutely get it - choosing a piece of jewellery for someone else is hard. Jewellery is such a personal thing. But we're here to help. Drop us an email to hello@hannahweston.com and we'll chat and help you find something just right.

Whatever you choose, the fact that you're looking — at 10pm, wanting to get this right — already says more than most gifts ever could.

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